It was difficult not to photograph the performance. From the viewpoint of a photographer, which I feel I am, there is obvious reasons for this. It was a real test, a real challenge. One that I did not enjoy much, but that is besides the point.

I had an inclination to photograph. I've lived for photography for a long time. Photography often gives a sense of purpose. As the world passes by, the camera marks time like a highlighter, it helps to remember different segments of life by braking them up. Furthermore, if we create something specifically to photograph it, one can use this process as a tool to step out of the every day, to explore paths which do not belong to logic, and for good or for worse, to escape these paths.

The photographic print acts as a marker within the marked, a place to know where to continue, to develop an idea further, to push all these boundaries. As for the Existere performance we didn't want to push or emphasis the 'nakedness' and decided not to use visual documentation. In that sense it made sense not to photograph. I am glad we have a piece of writing about it. As well as having created the glass installation. It is a beautiful piece with a life of its own. It’s an art work that has come out of thinking about documenting something in an alternative way. Whether it really conveys a true sense of performance is a question. I never thought of the performance when I blew on the glass or even as I read the text. But as the performance becomes about something a bit different than the actual concept of it, so does the documentation in itself

To an extent I feel at a loss for not having seen the performance. It is in some way a shame. But I have totally accepted this fact. To be perfectly honest, I don’t really feel like thinking about it anymore. And this is interesting: I think documenting is about archiving which is also about letting go and moving on. Photography acts as a paradox because in one way it tries to freeze moments and hold on to a past, but in another, it also acts as a bridge in helping to detach oneself from a certain happening.. Like war or death memorials; they are there to remember but at the same time they help us to let go. Perhaps it is the same when we note something into our calendars: It allows us to forget without forgetting.

It is not as if we didn’t document the performance, on the contrary. We made an installation to commemorate it and there are verbal memories floating around. And of course Rye wrote a meaningful text which I almost understand. I like the fact that I don’t fully understand it, because If we are debating the documentation of performance, I still don’t fully comprehend what one should have documented, which part? Was it the naked people after all, was it the comments of the audience and the participants, the sounds, the original ideas, the atmosphere? I ask myself whether it is more important to place emphasis of the documentation on what the idea is about or about what is becomes.

In the case of Existere, I felt that the audience enjoyed the work as a joint effort of a massive, delicate collaboration. Only very little of the original thought sickered were apparent to them. To the audience the work became about something different than we may have anticipated. If I want to make a statement through art or if it is an act of expression, this matters. In this regards it is interesting to reflect on what the piece became about and perhaps even to build on this in our future project, rather than building on our original ideas.

Existere was a huge collaborative effort (in which I probably collaborated the least because I am a space cadet and ironically don’t like performance art). I think we created a sense of community. I think each individual felt safe and challenged a the same time and this perhaps gave a sense of belonging. Which in turn gave a purpose, a meaning. To create a sense of purpose and meaning was incorporated in our thoughts of the existential struggle. And it is positive that this particular concept was born, perhaps not to the audience but the matter that made up the actual work – the participants. Art is surely a form of communication. I think we created a work which does not only attempt to communicate an idea to the outside but interestingly the work itself communicates with itself 9by this I mean the participants and the way they are with each other, during and after the performance. One could almost say that we created the work for the work itself.

It is interesting that we mainly used digital technology (Facebook, email etc) to gather participants and convince people to take part in our performance. We gathered them in a virtual space and brought them to the physical surroundings of an eerie dairy. The space in which we choose to create our work is also an aspect we could take further. We can celebrate that it no longer is essential to have a gallery to test grounds of planted ideas. An exhibition could remain entirely virtual. Or it could manifest itself in different physical spaces and only come together in a virtual world.

These are thoughts which were born out of the God of Existere and the paths of possibilities which are possibly worth perusing.